So it's been a while since the last time that I wrote on here, but I never have been very good at keeping up with it all, but I've just been thinking recently, and so here I am, writing it out.
So my seventeenth birthday is next Thursday, so nine more wake-ups, and thinking about that made me think about how time has gone by. I can still remember the week before my sixteenth birthday as if it were yesterday, and I truly can't believe it's already been a year.
A year ago from next Thursday was the first time I ever told a boy that I really liked him. I can still remember how scared I was about it all, I was terrified that when I told him he would be weirded out and that he would never talk to me. I can still recall how my heart started pounding at a thousand miles per hour and I couldn't think straight through my fear. But then I told him, and the like two seconds of silence after that were the longest two seconds of my life. It felt like my entire existence depended on what the words would be after that silence, and I just couldn't stand to think of what would happen if they weren't words telling me he felt the same.
I know that I'm still young and that I have a lot of life left to live, but I feel like that will be a memory that wont fade in time. Robert Penn Warren once wrote that there are certain memories that, rather than fading with time, only grow stronger, and the older you get the clearer it becomes. I feel like that will be one of those memories, that and my very first kiss three days later.
I know that reliving the paste is a waste because it keeps you from living the present and the future. I guess that's why I'm glad that I've moved on, I will always cherish those memories, and those feelings, because they're just the beginning of a life full feelings and moments. Those first feelings of love that you have for someone outside of your family and friends are important. They're a different kind of love, ones that I can't imagine this world existing without.
I guess what I'm trying to say is love life, live the moments it gives you to the fullest, and when those moments are over, don't let them fade, remember then, remember the smiles and laughs shared, the tears shed, the pain and the hurt, the joy and peace, learn from mistakes, make more, but keep living. Life is good. Remember what you have, be grateful for it, let go when holding on isn't what's right anymore, and move one because what's meant to be in your life will be. Be happy.
